Scraps-R-Fun

Weekend Wrap-Up

• Got a fresh haircut (though you can only really see the bangs here)

• Went on yet another dull first date
• Visited, and was sorely disappointed by Arizona's first H&M
• Watched the season premiere of "Legend of the Seeker" (don't judge me - Richard is H.O.T. and he is almost always fighting shirtless)
• Caught up on some old downloads from Melissa Etheridge
• Finished layout number six from one of my favorite SC KITS ever.

The Layout of My Future

Soon, hopefully very soon...from journaling to layout

45 Thoughts @ 45

1. I am surprised I am still single.

2. I am completely not surprised at being single.

3. I still can’t engage in meaningful conversation with my mother.

4. I like being on my own, doing my own thing.

5. I am not ready to be a complete empty-nester.

6. I want to be more spontaneous.

7. I want to be less impulsive.

8. I want to go to Greece, bad.

9. I want new skis.

10. I am thinking I should go back to short hair.

11. I am itching to restart my doctorate.

12. I want 10 less pounds on the scale.

13. I feel financially stable.

14. I see a light at the end of the debt tunnel.

15. I could not be any more addicted to the internet than I am right now.

16. I am very proud of Taylor.

17. I am hopeful for Ryan.

18. I wish I were a better photographer.

19. I need a maid.

20. I miss holding hands.

21. I am almost always tired.

22. I imagine what it would be like to have a new baby again.

23. I wish I knew then what I know now about raising children.

24. I am glad I don’t have to fight with schools any longer.

25. I wonder if I will ever finish reading The Fiery Cross (now on 18 months).

26. My favorite show of the decade is “Modern Family” on ABC.

27. I am proud of what I do at work.

28. I am good, really good, at what I do.

29. I am grateful for a body that still lets me go hiking.

30. I love taking the dogs to the desert and mountains.

31. I rely on my GPS.

32 My treadmill was the best present ever.

33. I worry about needing an external hard drive.

34. I am definitely learning how to fix my own toilet – soon.

35. I wish more men were smart, interesting and attractive at the same time.

36. I hope I will be a good grandmother someday (not too soon).

37. I wish I always felt creative

38. I often forget friends’ birthdays

39. I am considering attending more Friday night services

40. I miss lighting Shabbat candles with the kids

41. I adore my two big dogs Sweetness and Boone

42. I am grateful I have a job that I like and to which I feel committed

43. I appreciate having a boss who completely understands and respects me

44. I give a little, but should give more

45. Life is pretty good

Thanksgiving Thoughts Come Early

Friend Kim recently posted a blog challenge. She must have been ruminating on the fact that November is upon us and with that, comes Thanksgiving. Her challenge? To name five things for which we are grateful. I suppose especially in times of stress, reminding oneself of the positive aspects of life is a good exercise. So, out of respect for my friend, and to practice the act of gratitude, here is my list for today:

I am grateful...

1. ... that I had my first full night's sleep I've had in almost a week. I feel less and less like a train hit me this morning.

2. ... that my daughter has grown into this trustworthy, responsible, independent young woman.

3. ... that half my house finally got cleaned this weekend, and I feel less depressed when I come home from work.

4. ... that I have friends who inspire my creativity.

5. ... that I have goals, dreams and aspirations - all of which can come true in due time. 

And speaking of goals... I'd best get a move on this morning so I can continue to work towards these:

Life Intended

So, fair warning here - this is a bit of a whiney, philosophical post. But here goes...

Sometimes, life just is what it is. Lately, I seem to be going through life trying to make it something that it is not. I thought I wanted a partner. I thought I wanted a companion. But I'm coming to understand that maybe, just maybe that is not at all what either I want, or I need. 

In the three years that I dated Dene, I often complained about how far away he lived. It was nearly 80 miles round trip between us. But the reality... that was my safety net. It was the "excuse" for not spending more time together. It was safe being with him and knowing that I didn't have to see him every day. Now, I know some of you are saying that's just because he wasn't the right guy for me... but that's really not it at all. The actual situation for me is that I really like my "me" time. I cherish the time I have to myself. It's not that I like being "alone." But I do like being beholden to no one. 

I want my weekends to be about what *I* want to do. I want my daily life's activities to be on *MY* schedule. I like being the decision-maker, the do-er, the one making the choices to leave things UNdone if that's what I want. 

Being in a relationship means talking to someone else regularly (which can get rather boring to me), means caring about someone else. I wonder today if I have that in me. I wonder if in reality, I am simply too narcissistic to be meant to have a relationship. What other explanation could it be that I can find fault in every man I've met since July? They are either too tall, too boring, too old, too fat, too poor, too introverted, too timid, too uneducated, too needy, too far away, too close, too religious, too non-religious, too nerdy, too scruffy, too bad, too good, too ambitious, too content with the status quo. I mean, even Mr. Worthy of a SECOND date couldn't make it to date number three. He himself admitted that I intimidated him, that I was too accomplished relative to his own life. And know what? He was right. I finally found someone physically and intellectually attractive, but we couldn't make the emotional connection because he just didn't have the same life skills in him that I did (it was weird - this very intelligent guy didn't know what an iphone or wifi were - WTF?)

So, here I sit contemplating whether my life intended is one of independence. I'm at that point of reckoning that I could really be meant to be on my own. It's clear that men just don't hold up to my standards. Yes, perhaps they are too high. But I settled on Dene. I knew it from the beginning. We had some really fun times, and those were a good three years. But in the end, I knew I was settling, and it shouldn't have taken three years to make the break. It was just so damn convenient.

But I am one filled with self-reliance. I let nothing hold me back. I pursue my dreams regardless of my situation. I am a strong, independent woman and that my friends is a relationship's nightmare. So, I have come to the tipping point of my lifestyle and realized that I am indeed meant to be on my own. That's fine really, I can take care of myself. I have a home, take care of my car, raise my children. Now, if I could just fix my damn toilet, who would ever need a man...

Let's Hear it for the Girls

One thing about being single again was the fact that suddenly I had time to actually spend with girlfriends. Girlfriends are a funny thing for me though. Even back in high school, I never had a strong group of friends with whom I would hang. Don't get me wrong, there were girls I would call friends, but they weren't the type who I felt the need to stay connected after graduation. Instead, I had that one friend with whom I remained friends after heading off to college. But for me friendships often wane. I change direction, perspective, location, attitude over time and when others do the same, it makes maintaining the more superficial relationships more difficult. My one high school friend and I stayed in touch for many years. But after 17 years of friendship, we had a falling out, and I was OK with that.

Then there were my two friends I made during my marriage in IL. Those friendships have gone up and down, but again, when people change so drastically, it's hard for me to maintain. I tire too easily of people really. I chalk it up to being busy, or maybe a little narcissistic. If we don't have hobbies or interests in common, we are less likely to stay friends.

Which brings me back to my current friends. In the end, it has been scrapbooking that has created my favorite group of friends to date. These women share a passion for the same hobby as I. It has literally been the reason that I met all but one of the current friendships I maintain. But what I love so much about my current circle of friends is the fact that we can share beyond the hobby. These women are fascinating, each with different types of lives, each going through their own trials and tribulations, each demonstrating that women are strong and smart and full of vibrance. I hope to keep these women around for a while. I'm enjoying their company too much. 

Doing something unusual,  spending time together, but NOT scrapbooking...

 

 

Friend Lisa was there too, but she might not like the photo taken of her (darn closed eyes!)...

And some of what we were enjoying that evening:

 

So, here's to the girls...those in the photos and those who are not, those who share their time, their laughter and their inspiration with me regularly.

October 25th

Perhaps a day to remember...

Creativity and Exercise: The Means to a Balanced End

Yes, it's true. I spent the day doing nothing but playing in my studio yesterday. I finished 1 card, 1 layout redo, and 1 layout from scratch. To alleviate some of my guilt (for both doing nothing but playing AND for the egg mcmuffin I ate from McDonalds), I ended the night with a good 40 minute workout on the treadmill. Yay me! I'm not quite back to the 5 day a week regimen I held for about 6 weeks, but I did get in 3 days this week and that's my bare minimum goal. 

I knew that this week will be crazy busy at work and I knew that I was going to be working today. So, it was only fair that I took yesterday just for me. It's important in life to understand one's own coping skills and needs. These are mine. 

Today, it's off to do a little work with a friend - IF I can get my car to start. It's been touch and go there and I do believe that today I'll have to break down and buy a new battery... sigh. Good thing I have some money in my "freedom account!"

Here's what I ended up with:

This was originally for the Project 12 Challenge in June, but now it will be for November :)

 

And this one was for a texture challenge at Studio Calico. I had this inspiration piece (I think from a Boden catalog) sitting around and thought it was time to pull it out and use it! 

 

Here's my version:

 

 

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Looking My Age

So, there's something new forming on my face: big, deep, baggy wrinkles under my eyes. I began noticing them about mid-week, but this morning it hit me. I finally look my age. The problem, I might even look older! I'm not happy about this new facial feature. Seriously, how did this happen? Oh yeah, wait. I know. It happens when for over a week, I am up at 3 am and not sleeping. It happens when I'm not exercising as regularly as usual. It happens when I'm working 10-12 hour days because I'm spending many a night presenting to groups or traveling to another part of the state. And amidst all this... I agreed to teach not one, but TWO classes next semester. Yes, you may all let out the collective, "what?! is she crazy?"

The good part is that they are the same class - so I'm only really prepping for one lecture - sort of.

The good part is that when the semester is over, my debt? Gone. Yes. Gone. I am *this* close! 

Some of you may recall that I started following the Mary Hunt Debt Proof Living way of life around the start of 2008. After 18 months, I had rid myself of one full credit card (and folks, we are not talking about a small balance of 1500 or so... no my friends, we are talking much, much more). That was huge. It was a day to celebrate! I've since learned how to live within my means (most of the time). 

I admittedly slacked off after breaking up with Dene. Some people drink, others smoke. I shop. That, my friends is my addiction. So, to tell you that following this debt proof living lifestyle wasn't easy, I am not kidding. It's not that I don't get to shop still, but it's a whole different set-up. I plan, I budget, I spend only what I have in my "freedom account." 

So, my point. When I sat down and fiddled with my RDP (Rapid Debt Payment Plan) and saw how working the double class schedule would reduce my pay-off time by a FULL YEAR! I had to say yes. Had to. I want a different lifestyle. I don't want more "things." I want less stress. I want more excitement. I want to feel more freedom. I want to give more. I want to do more. 

This is my chance... I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's getting brighter every month as I chip away at the one thing that nags at me at the back of my mind. And seriously, as we now hear of companies both raising their interest rates AND going back to annual fees - or charging "non-use" fees for not keeping a balance... are you kidding me? There is no better time to go debt free.

Saying goodbye to this kind of world forever: 

(Christmas 2007 at Dene's - how he decorates his tree - such a cynic he is)

Way to Sign Off on a Weekend

I'm not sure I've had a weekend with so much done, yet with very few feelings of being rushed or on a schedule. Strange, really how that goes sometimes. But to recap how my weekend came together:

Enjoyed a hike with the pups, even if it did mean sweating my tail off in record high temps.

Dined with Mr. Hiking Date for breakfast after said hike (nice guy, no spark, but good company)

Enjoyed a pedicure with the kid (I may now be addicted to these things. I just love the little flowers they put on my toes so much)! 

Caught up on my new favorite show of all time, "Modern Family"

Fit in a little shopping at Michael's with my 40% off coupon.

Finished grading final exams and posted the grades (next up the final papers) 

Joined my kid for a photo shoot of a newborn baby (new baby of a family for whom she babysits)

and, yes... I even scrapped again! 

I am not in love with this page as much as the ones I made on Friday, but I'm happy to be using my kits and I'm happy to be scrapping! So, it's all good! 

Back by Popular Demand

Okay - so it was only three of you really... but at least someone wants me to get back to bloggin! To be honest, I've felt very blank lately. I've been working my tail off, driving all over the state on a huge work project and teaching a class of 29 that I thought was going to be 18. But I do indeed love the teaching. So, I'll continue to torture myself and take on more than I can chew. And well, since I've had no luck in the dating arena, there have been no fun stories (or photos) to share.

So, that all changed last night when I put my foot down and decided it was time to dust off my scrapbook area (literally) and head over to friend Kim's house for a night of scrapping goodness. I was feeling it too. And man, it felt G.O.O.D! 

Today I'm heading out for a morning hike with the puppers and another first date dude. We'll see how this one goes, but I'm not holding my breath. Then back home to finish grading the finals and hopefully post grades! Then I am a FREE woman until January! Yay! 

Here are the results of my month long hiatus from scrapping!